Sparkles versus the Viking
by melissakay
Summary: What happens when Bella and possesive sparkly peen Edward visit Fangtasia? Will Bella stand by her man, or will she be tempted by viking-vamp hottie Eric Northman? Will Eric and Edward face off in a WWE inspired smackdown? And can we watch!


**Sparkles versus the Viking**

Edward pushed Bella behind him as they entered the dark, smoky club. 'This is a vampire bar' he told her for the umpteenth time, as if she were stupid. But then, he's always doing that, Bella thought. 'You're way too delicious to be left alone in here. Stay right behind me, where all good women should be'.

Bella gave Edward a Hitler salute the moment his back was turned. She was sulking because while on the ride into Shreveport, he'd insisted on playing his stupid classical music instead of her angsty chick rock. I'll show him, she thought to herself. He's not getting any tonight. Unless he begs. Or takes his shirt off. I can't stop myself from gazing at his beautiful, rock hard, marble chest….

She was gazing at his beautiful, rock hard shoulders right now, encased in a charcoal grey silk shirt, and fought the impulse to climb onto his back like a spider monkey, the way she did when he took her on climbing expeditions. That is, until another caught her eye.

Another vampire, that is. She recognised him as a vampire right off the bat (pardon the pun) – the pale complexion tends to give it away, some. But this one – my god, Bella almost breathed aloud – this one was simply _magnificent_!

He was sitting away from the rest of the patrons, on a wide chair with a high back, that looked for all the world like a throne. But then, he looked like a king among men. His very attitude, his essence screamed leader. Bella was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, his pale blue eyes seemed to search her out and pull her to him like a magnet. She tried to stop her feet from moving in his direction, but they appeared to have a will of their own. As she approached him, she couldn't help but stare at the bulging muscles in his arms, the strong set of his jaw, the steely look in his eye, and more importantly, the way his black pants hugged his glorious thighs. Bella imagined herself sitting in his lap, running her hands over his broad shoulders… kissing those totally kissable lips…

'Bella!'

Shit, Bella thought, with a stab of irritation as Edward caught up with her. Why won't he go and find a nice waitress to sink his teeth into? Oh, that's right. He's not a _real_ vampire. He's a "vegetarian". She looked back at the blonde vamp - who seemed completely oblivious of her, despite staring in her direction. Bella felt like he was looking straight through her. Something about his total lack of interest in her just made her want him more.

As Edward took a vice-like grip of her upper arm, Bella stiffened, reflexively. She was tired of his possessive shit. All she wanted to do was _look_ at this new vampire… didn't she? It wasn't as if she was going to cheat on Edward. It wasn't as if she _could_, anyway! The guy was always one step behind her, watching her wherever she went!

'Do you two mind, you're spoiling my view'.

It speaks, Bella thought, her heart racing a mile a minute. But wait, hang on… did he just tell us to get out of his way?

The blonde vampire sat forward in his chair and waved an impatient hand. 'Chow' he barked at a bulky Asian vampire behind the bar, 'Get these people out of here!'

'No, wait' Bella said, suddenly finding her tongue. Edward's grip tightened, if possible. Bella knew she was going to have one hell of a bruise there tomorrow. Damn him!

The blonde vampire sighed, like he was about to explain something completely elementary to a four year old for the umpteenth time.

'Who are you, and what do you want?'

'I'm… uh, I'm Bella Swan. I'm… very pleased to meet you…'

'Bored now' the vamp said, and lifted his heavenly gaze over her head. Bella followed it to a pole in the middle of the room that was being systematically dry-humped by a very flexible girl in pasties and a glittering g-string. Disgusted, she turned back.

'But… I'm _Bella Swan_' she told him. 'Haven't you heard of me? What about the Volturi? Have you heard of them? I'm sure they'd be ecstatic to find out you've set up a bar where humans go willingly to be bitten…'

He turned his attention to Edward. 'Does she ever shut up?'

'Not when she's on her soapbox about something' Edward replied, chuckling. 'Should hear her rattle on about Wuthering Heights…'

The blond vamp frowned. 'You're making fun of your human? What's _that _about?'

'Oh, he does that all the time' Bella answered for him. 'Apparently I'm a constant source of amusement for him'.

Blondie raised an eyebrow. 'Okay… _now_ you have my attention'.

'What's your name?' Bella asked him. 'No – don't tell me – you look like a Bradford to me. Or a Stefan…'

'My name is Eric, and if you reel off any more puerile names from those overly romantic, Gothic novels you obviously read, I'm going to stake your vampire here. That ought to shut you up for five minutes so I can think about what I'm going to do with _you_'.

Bella laughed. 'Staking doesn't work'.

Edward coughed, loudly. 'She uh… didn't mean that, Sir. She was being… ironic'.

Bella spun toward him, eyes blazing. 'What? You told me vampires couldn't be staked! What else have you been lying to me about? Garlic? Silver? Crucifixes?'

'Actually, out of the three only silver does the trick' said Eric. 'I can walk into a church just like anyone else. And sunlight tends to give me a rather bad case of death'.

'But… but…' Bella gasped, 'Edward doesn't die in sunlight! He sparkles!'

'Must be another kind of creature then' said the blonde vamp. 'Like a hybrid of a vampire and something else. Because sunlight kills true vampires'.

'I _am _a true vampire' Edward hissed. Bella was startled. She'd never heard him get defensive about it, before. Almost as if… he was proud of it! 'I drink blood'.

'So do some humans, in the grip of madness. Ever heard of King George? He went insane and claimed to crave human blood. Elizabeth Bathory, the famous 17th century serial killer, liked to bath in the blood of virgins'.

'And your point is?' asked Edward, testily.

'My point is, vampires don't have a monopoly on human blood. And there _are_ other creatures out there. Weres, shape-shifters, fairies…'

'Fairies?' asked Bella, disbelievingly. 'Like, _real_ fairies? Like Tinkerbell?'

'No, not like Tinkerbell. They don't have wings, for one thing' said Eric. 'And they're human-sized. But they _do_ have magic, _and_ they live in the forest'.

'I thought they were called Druids' Edward replied, in a superior tone.

Eric sighed. 'Druids are humans. Get with the program, _vampire_'.

Edward bristled visibly. His hold on Bella's arm became unbearable. Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. 'You're hurting me' she told Edward. 'Let go'.

'Ooh… now _this_ is interesting' Eric observed. 'Settle, Gretel. You'll break your human's arm off. That is, unless you want to'.

Edward let go immediately. 'Sorry' he mumbled; then turned back to the blonde vampire that was having such a hoot bringing him down. 'I'll prove to you I'm a vampire' he said. 'I have supernatural speed. Let's have a race'.

Eric smirked, and Bella nearly died and went to heaven. What is it with this guy, she wondered, that makes me abandon my flowery thoughts and go into full-on fangbanger mode? Forget comparing his eyes to the sky or his creamy skin to a painting of nudes by Michelangelo. I just want to grab him and fuck his brains out!

'So?' said Edward. 'Are we racing or not?'

'Or not' Eric replied. 'Why do you feel you have to prove something to me? Is your manhood not up to snuff? But then I suppose, if all you do is sparkle in the sun like a drag queen who forgot to wash off the body-paint after Mardi Gras, I suppose I'd be feeling a little emasculated, too'.

Edward's amber eyes glowed and he bared his teeth. Uh-oh, thought Bella, rolling her eyes. Here we go…

'Ah' said Eric. 'There're the fangs! I _thought_ they'd come out if I challenged your masculinity. Puny types like you are always super sensitive about stuff like that'.

'Puny?' The word sounded like a guttural growl in the back of Edward's throat.

Eric didn't look the slightest bit fazed. In fact, he looked amused. 'Yes. Puny. How much can you bench press?'

'Huh?'

'I thought so. Ever torn a human in half?'

Edward looked positively sick. 'No! Why would I?'

'He's a vegetarian' Bella explained. 'He only drinks the blood of animals'.

Eric threw his blonde head back and laughed, uproariously, which didn't sit will with Edward. 'What's so funny about trying not to kill people?' Bella's one true love asked.

Eric's expression changed from amused to serene in milliseconds. 'You don't have to kill people to drink human blood. You just have to learn restraint'. He glanced at Bella. 'Have you ever fed from your human – this… Bella?'

'Yes, once' admitted Edward, hanging his head in shame. 'But it nearly killed her'.

'Then you really do need to learn to control yourself' Eric told him. To Bella he said, 'Come here'.

Edward was a seething mass of hate by now. Especially when he saw how willingly Bella approached the blonde, extremely handsome vampire, and swept her long, cascading brunette waves into a handheld ponytail. Offering herself up to him like a sacrificial lamb!

'This is how it's done' said Eric, and he leaned in. Bella held her breath, waiting for the pain to come, but all she felt was his cool lips on the skin where her shoulder met her neck. 'You smell amazing' he told her. Bella's heart started to beat faster, partly in the anticipation of pain, and partly because he seemed to be kissing her neck, rather than biting it. This wasn't lost on Edward, either. 'Are you going to quit necking with my girlfriend, and actually bite her, or what?'

'Steady on' Eric said, his mouth still brushing Bella's skin. She could feel the rasp of his stubble and it sent delicious shivers down her spine. Then came the agonising pain of fangs breaking the skin, and piercing a blood vessel, but Bella found she couldn't scream, only make a few gasping sounds, until the initial pain faded, and the dreamy loose-limbed feeling took over. His large hands encircled her arms, holding her up as he drank; holding her against his strong chest. He smelled of leather and whiskey and some cologne with woody undertones that was as much to blame for making her light-headed as was the blood-loss.

'Stop' Edward cried in the background. 'You're killing her'.

'No he's not' said a woman's voice, with a heavy Southern accent. 'Eric's had a _lot_ of practice at this. He knows what he's doing. You could learn a thing or two from him'.

'Who are you?' asked Edward, looking the woman up and down. She was skinny, wore pink from head to toe – designer, no less – and her ash-blonde hair was held back with a pair of very expensive sunglasses. 'I'm Pam, Eric's progeny' she said. 'And you are?'

'Edward Cullen. Nice to meet you. Could you ask your… boss to let go of my girlfriend now?'

'I think you better give his human back, Eric' Pam said, 'He's getting antsy'.

Eric detached himself from Bella's neck and let her forehead loll onto his chest. Blood beaded on her pale skin and Edward felt the old familiar hunger. No, he told himself. I must not feed on Bella. I must not feed on Bella. I must _not_…

'Here' said Eric, gesturing to Edward. 'Your turn'.

'I can't' gasped Edward, remembering the taste of Bella's blood despite himself. 'I don't trust myself'.

'Oh for crying out loud' Eric sighed, and bit into his own wrist. Edward looked on in horror. 'What are you doing?'

'Our blood has healing properties, didn't you know that? I'm sealing her wound, if you're not going to feed from her'.

'Of course I knew that' Edward said, stiffly. 'Everyone knows that. I just… haven't seen it done in a _long_ time'. He frowned, remembering something else. 'Hey wait – _I_ know what you're doing! You're trying to form a blood bond! That way you'll always know where she is, and what she's feeling, and… she'll have dirty dreams about you! Carlisle told me about guys like you, who try to take advantage of pretty girls…'

'Oh, _now _you're sounding like the pussy I thought you were' said Eric, holding his wrist over Bella's mouth. As soon as she got a taste for it, she started to suckle like a newborn lamb.

That was it for Edward. He'd seen enough, and started toward Eric in a hurry, shrugging off Pam in the process. Eric responded by tossing aside Bella like a ragdoll, and baring his fangs, which were still stained pink with Bella's blood. Edward threw himself at the blonde club owner, his own fangs bared for the kill. The two vampires grappled with each other, pushing and shoving but never actually letting go. Bella, feeling Eric's blood course through her, sat up and watched her boyfriend and the sexy older vamp tussle like a couple of latent homosexuals denying their feelings. Incredibly, she felt like she could climb a mountain. Or Eric, if he'd let her!

'Go Eric' Pam cheered. 'Make him your bitch'.

'Hey, bitch!' Snarled Bella, suddenly, drunk with supernatural power, thanks to the V she'd just consumed. 'Don't talk about my Edward that way'.

'Your Edward's getting his ass kicked. Sorry, honey'. Pam leered at her. Suddenly Bella had the distinct feeling she was getting the onceover from the vamp in designer duds. 'You're not… a lesbian, are you?' she asked, wincing as she heard Edward howl in pain in the background. 'Because I'm totally _not_ into that'.

'Well, as a matter of fact, I am' Pam said, smiling as she looked Bella up and down again. 'And I don't think you're as against the idea as you think you are'.

Bella made a face and took a step backward. 'Ew! Gross! Don't make me barf'.

Pam rolled her eyes. 'Okay, fine. Whatever. Have your man flesh. I'm gonna get me a yummy woman to play with'. Bella watched as Pam sauntered off in the direction of the half-naked pole dancer, glamoured the poor girl, and disappeared into a back room with her little treat. Bella shuddered and turned her attention back to Eric and Edward.

And froze in horror. Eric was standing over Edward, who was lying face down, his arm twisted up behind him in a grotesque fashion. Eric held Edward's wrist, turning it whenever he wanted to elicit a groan or yelp of pain. One of his size ten head-kicker boots was planted squarely in Edward's back.

'Let him go' pleaded Bella. 'Please. I'll do anything. I'll… I'll dance for you'.

She half expected Edward to at least try to come to her defence, but to her dismay, her boyfriend laughed! Trying to stand up after Eric let him go, holding an arm against his chest, he shook his head at his rival.

'Don't man' he said. 'Don't put us through it. Bella can't dance. She looks like a retarded giraffe just doing the Bus Stop. I shudder to think what would happen with a pole in the way. It'll ruin exotic dancing for you, forever'.

'Gee, thanks for the support' grizzled Bella. 'I rescue you from being beaten to a pulp, and what do I get? _More_ insults'.

'Let her try' said Eric, smirking. 'This will be interesting'.

Bella walked over to the pole, awkwardly. Gripping it with one hand, she tried to do what the other girl had done, grinding and gyrating against it like it was a… well, like it was Eric. Half expecting laughter, she was surprised when Edward called out, "Get it all off". Encouraged, she pulled off the shirt she'd been wearing; glad she'd decided on her best black lacy lingerie that morning! Shucking off her jeans to the hoots and hollers of her small but enthusiastic audience, Bella got right into the swing of things. Literally. Trying a trick she'd seen the professional pole dancer do, she gave herself a couple of laps to build up speed, and lifted her legs under her. But instead of twirling gracefully around the pole, she found her hands slipping, and with the momentum she'd built up, flew right off the pole and into her host, almost knocking him backwards!

Finding herself suddenly sitting in the one place she'd daydreamed about earlier, Bella wrapped her arms around Eric's neck. 'Good catch' she murmured.

He slipped his strong arms around her and hugged her to his taut, toned upper bod. She could literally feel the muscles flex under his black singlet and longed to run her hands over the bare skin. Their eyes met, and his glinted mischievously. Bella suddenly realised how close they were. If she leaned forward just that little bit, they'd be kissing.

Something Edward must have realised as well, because he threw himself at Eric once more. Settling Bella aside for her own safety, Eric caught the arm he'd nearly broken earlier, and twisted it to the side, making Edward literally howl in pain. 'See? It's not a good idea to make me mad' Eric told him. 'Sit down, and shut up. Or I'll introduce you to the True Death'.

Bella gasped. 'You wouldn't'.

Eric bared his fangs. 'What do you think?'

'Leave… my girl… alone' squeaked Edward. 'She's mine. You can't have her'.

'She's only yours if she wants to be' said Eric. Looking up at Bella, he asked the question of her. 'Do you?'

Bella looked at Edward, her first love, her life, her stone angel. Bent under the weight of Eric's hand on his shoulder, with that arm twisted behind his back again, he looked pitiful, a shell of the man she thought he was. He pleaded to her with his amber eyes, and all she could think about were all the times he'd been condescending, treated her like a second class citizen; made fun of her in front of her friends, his family. The only person he didn't dare to make fun of her in front of was her Dad, the police chief, Charlie, because the guy was scary when he wanted to be. Also, he had guns. With silver bullets, due to all the werewolves running around. Silver didn't kill vamps outright, but it did slow down their extraordinary healing powers.

'Well?' asked Eric. 'Do you want him, or not?'

'No' said Bella, suddenly. She looked up at Eric. 'I want _you_'.

A wrenching sob escaped from Edward's throat. 'Bella' he tried to say, but had no strength left.

Eric let Edward fall to the floor, and Bella met him halfway. But before she could throw her arms around the Sheriff of Area Five, someone grabbed those arms from behind and drew them backward, effectively hogtying her. Bella watched Eric grin like a shark as she struggled in vain. 'Nice of you to join us, Jessica' he said. 'I've always preferred a little three-way action'.

'What about him' asked Bella's captor, gesturing with her head toward Edward. 'He's a vamp, isn't he?'

'I don't know what he is, but apparently he sparkles when you put him in the sun' Eric told her. 'Maybe we should throw him outside, later, see if it's true?'

'Oh, _goodie_' said Jessica. 'I _love_ sparkly things'.

'But right now' said Eric, staring at Bella, 'Let's do lunch'.

Bella tried to scream, but Eric had her glamoured before she could open her mouth. Offering her neck to him for the second time that night, she was surprised when he chose to slide her bra strap off her shoulder instead. 'I think we'll have a bit of fun, first' he murmured.

'Oh' complained Jessica, impatiently. 'Must you play with your food?'

'Damn straight' said Eric, letting the other strap go as well. Cupping her breasts in his cold hands, he squeezed gently until her nipples were hard against his palms. Bella felt light-headed again, but it wasn't due to the earlier blood loss. He sank to his knees in front of her, and kissed her stomach, her hips, and the flesh just above the waistband of her lacy black underwear. Bella bit her lip, anxiously. Where was he going with this? She soon found out. Moving her leg forward slightly, he nuzzled her inner thigh – then bit down, _hard._ Blood pooled around his fangs and trickled down the side of his face. Out of the corner of her eye, Bella saw Pam and Chow, the bartender finish off poor, emasculated Edward, pulling him apart like a bully pulls the wings off a fly. Half drained, Bella didn't care much anymore about anything. She cared even less when Jessica sunk her teeth into her neck, and sweet darkness took over.

The End


End file.
